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I would like to start doing something constructive with my time.
Right now I am pretending to go to class as "the thing that I do with my time to be productive".
I haven't attended class for one day this semester.
It's because of my eating disorder.
I am getting that under control, I hope.
Also, things are getting better with my family.
I am happy about that.
I have a lot of time, however, when I am not working out.
I fill it with sleeping, eating sometimes, watching things, things like that.
Nothing incredibly productive.
I have enrolled in fashion classes for next fall.
I am so excited about that!
I cannot wait.
And I have enrolled for the summer in a German class; I hope I can take it.  I'm afraid I might have problems with my financial aid for the summer.
But if it works out, I will be taking that class during the month of June.
It is early in the morning, which will be wonderful, since I will have to get up early and will not be able to go out as much.
Last night, I went out, and met a wonderful girl who was so nice and fun to talk to.
It was perfect, because I was just thinking that I would like to meet another girl or girls and gay guy(s) who would like to hang out and go out as much as me, just people I could hang out with who are not interested in me sexually.  I don't want to hang out with anyone who wants to be with me physically right now, because I just broke up w/ my bf, and I just want some time to talk to people and get to know people in a platonic way.
So it was great to meet her.  She was so much fun to talk to, and it was just so great to have girl time.
I think she will come hang out with me and my friends on Friday!
We always go out for a girls' night, and I think everyone will get along so well!
I'm excited :)
And I think she goes out as much as I do right now, so maybe I won't have to go out by myself so much!
Well, anyway, back to using my time constructively.....
As you can probably see, it's not something I always do :/
But hopefully soon!
A lot of times I just sit and think.
Which is good, I think, as long as I don't let my thoughts get me down.
Last night, I was tired of looking at the computer screen, so I just sat with a drink and tried to relax.  I was sad, though, because of the end of a relationship that I really hoped would be good.  It was good, in many ways, but it was also not the best for either one of us in many ways.
So I am glad it is over.
But it is hard to remember the good times right now, because part of me just wishes things could still be good.
Anyway, so I was just sitting there thinking and drinking.
Which I think was cleansing, but it is also hard.
It's even hard to write about it.
So I will move on for now.
I hate being so emotional right now.
Anyway.
So one way I would like to use this blog is to design and make clothes, and then write about it.
I am hoping to get some material very soon.
I looked at a website yesterday, Paper Crowns, and I was so inspired to get some material and make something beautiful and flowy and light, like a breeze resting on a person.
It is hard to find good material here, but I think some night I will just have the time and the energy (that is what I am waiting on, I think, the energy, which is also hard because of my eating disorder, but I know it will happen.)  So some night I will get the urge and have to go to Wal-Mart, because it will be the only thing open, and I will get some plain, but light, material, and make something beautiful.
I cannot wait.
Well, I should go for now, and attempt to eventually do something productive today.
I think I will go to church as well.
At 7.  I am excited  to see my friends.
They are wonderful.
Well, if you read this and want to, let me know, leave a comment, criticize, anything.  I criticize myself enough, and it is like a pain that I like when other people do as well.