I feel so happy right now.  I'm in a really good relationship and it is causing me much joy in my life.  My friends are good, although one is a little stressful, but I'm setting up boundaries with her.  I have a new job, and it's going well.  I like most of my co-workers.  I also did a good job setting up boundaries at my job, so I won't overwhelm myself and become too stressed out.  I'm manic, and not currently on a mood stabilizer, so that's probably not good, but I feel better than I have in a long time, and I am just enjoying that.  I will talk to my doctor about the mood stabilizer situation.  It's hard to find one that's not too sedating, or that doesn't mess with my sleep, or have a host of other side effects.

But I'm so happy, it's so nice to feel this way.  I'm going to enjoy it.

And I believe much of it is due to my new relationship.

And satisfaction at my job.

I feel like I'm finally doing something.

I enjoy the interaction with the customers, and with my co-workers.  The food is great, and I get it for free.

I'm lonely.

high tea

this little guy landed on my arm!

Met with my former dietitian today.  We just had coffee; it is nice to talk with her.

We talked about my plans to apply to enter the Master's of Social Welfare program at KU.  I am excited about trying to do that; I feel it is time to try to do something with my life.  I hope it works out well. I am a bit worried that I could have a mood swing and it could affect my ability to do well in the program.  But I will apply and see how my mood is for the next few months, and hopefully it will work out.

I haven't been writing much at all lately.  

I just watched American Beauty; I've seen it before, but it hit me especially hard at the end this time.  Since I'd last seen it, I've been through more dark times in my life, so I took the end more seriously than I had anticipated.  It took me by surprise.  I think the reason I took it so seriously is that I believe more that things like that could happen.  I think I did believe that before, but perhaps just not as much.

I have grown more pessimistic when it comes to people.

And both more pessimistic and optimistic when it comes to myself.

I should go to bed soon.  I want to get some cleaning done and then tomorrow work on my application.

Then I will see my niece and nephew for Christmas.

It is hard to be alone after watching that movie.  Right up until the end, I was happy that I was watching, and fine being by myself.

But it put me in a serious, sad mood, and that is hard.

I want to have someone to talk to about it.



Hopefully someday.

where is the new thread button?

my meds are much too strong.  I don't know what to do besides wait it out and hope it is better tomorrow.